Six Months

"For the rest of my life I will search for moments full of you" - Anonymous

This week we hit the six month mark.

We have somehow lived half a year without him.

There is so much sadness and disbelief in that sentence. 

I hate typing it, as if merely typing it is what makes it true. It's like my entire body, heart, mind and soul want to debate it as a truism, so why would I be typing such an ugly, horrific lie?

If I am to be honest, it still doesn't feel real. 

My mind races to find a logical to solution of his absence. 

My mind fills itself of visions of him every where. It fills itself with ideas of him walking into the house, driving down the street and all the other familiar places I always would see him. It aches and seeks to place him somewhere on this earth and returning to us. 

It hasn't gotten any easier. But I didn't suspect it would. I've been told by many who have sojourned down similar dark roads that it doesn't get easier, it just becomes the new normal.

There is still that moment in every single day where my mind stops dead in its tracks and thinks, "Oh, my word. He is gone." If I am being honest, it's many moments in every day.  And each one of those moments ache as if a single day hasn't passed since that heartbreaking September morning.

And our only option is to keep on keeping on and look forward to that day, with anticipation of joy, that we will be reunited with our beloved Shtev.

1 comment:

steve and jessica said...

I am so sorry Mindy. We are praying for you.

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