1.07.2015

New Year's | The Choice


New Year's Eve was a very somber experience.


It's weird how one day, one hour, one minute can change so much.

The clock struck midnight and millions of people celebrated the coming of a new year, of 2015.

And my heart broke as I mourned 2014 slipping out of grasp, as it felt like my Shtev was slipping out of grasp right with it. For 2014 would be the last year that will ever have my Shtev living in it. And that truth is my pain.

I wanted to do everything to shield myself from 2015, that shielded me from a life with Shtev.

But as I crawled into my bed in that darkness in that early morn with my shattered heart, I realized that each day I live in 2015 is one day closer that I am to seeing him again.

And I realized I had a choice to make. To see 2015 as the first year he would never live in, or to see every single day of the same year being one day closer to him. And so the latter is what I will try to do. Because that seems to be the only choice I have in the matter. 

2 comments:

Laurita Martinez said...

I'm sorry for the hard year you have had in 2014! Please, don't forget we love you and your blog is one of the few ways we can understand of how you are feeling right now. I don't comment much on your blog since I feel like an outsider but just now, I just felt like I can relate to you on a level where it's indescribable especially when there are loved ones passed away... I wish and I pray this year, 2015 will be an another great year for you in your life. Stay strong!

Amy Fashion Blog said...

Just remember he will always be in your heart. No matter what year it is. I lost my grandma in 2013. So I know what you are going thru. It always hard to lose a love one.

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