She shouldn't have to be doing this ...

I drove Tiffany and her boys home from Murray that day.

If I am being completely honest ... as I drove I thought, "If we all of us were in a car accident," {all three vehicles of us}, "We could be with Steve now."

During that car ride, our brother called Tiffany's phone, thinking he had called me. I am certain they had over 10 missed calls from my phone. I could hear her say, "Steve didn't make it. He passed away."

Later, Brandon (my brother) would tell us that his wife, Hillary, immediately started sobbing, and he? He couldn't cry out of the pure shock of the moment. This just wasn't supposed to happen.

It was during that car ride that I realized my 35-year-old sister had just become not only a widow, but a single mom as well. 

Walking into the Steve & Tiffany's home upon returning to Logan was almost unbearable ... to think, Steven would never physically be within those walls again ached

I made phone calls to the mortuary, to plan a time to meet with them. Steve passed on a Tuesday, and due to General Conference on Saturday, his funeral would need to be Friday and would need to be planned fast. We scheduled a time to meet with the funeral director in a few hours.

Steve's mom, sisters, Tiffany, and my parents arrived at the funeral home. I cried with my sister as she said, "I shouldn't have to be doing this." I cried because she was right. No 35-year-old wife should have to bury her husband ...


Andrea said...

You're right. She's right.
it's something I have watched too many close to me have to do.

If i can offer one bit of advice. . . write down your memories of your bro-in-law - I at 34- 27 years later- still beg to hear stories of my dad.

love to you and your family. . . especially your sister and her sweet boys.

Stephanie Hyde said...

I was at a stake meeting last night and as we sang the song, come come ye Saints, your family came to mind. The last verse "and should we die before our journey's through, happy day all is well" surprised me as I couldn't hold back the tears thinking of your Steve and particularly his wife and kids. I felt the Spirit testify as you have, that this is not the end. It's okay to mourn the loss and to not understand. It's okay to cry. Listen to this song if you have time today. I can't put into words exactly what I felt but it was just like overwhelming love for your family.

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