It's weird.

We won't always talk about my autoimmune failure.

But today we still are. ;)

I have finally been able to get out and about besides work and doctor appointments. When I see people who have read this blog they so pleasantly and happily ask me, "How are you doing!?" or say, "You are looking so good! How do you feel?"

And then things get awkward.

This is me being awkward. Not because someone asked me a question, but because I am taking a photo by myself.

Because I don't know how to answer.

I don't know how to answer because the socially acceptable way to answer that is, "Great!!" or "Thanks! I am so good!"

It's awkward to give anything less, even if it is a lie. Because those statements would be a lie. And I really, really hate lying and being disgenuine. BUT!! I also don't want to be a Debby Downer {poor Debby's out there who get such a depressing alliteration}.

Sure, I am waaaay better than I was pre-Morphine. But the truth is, I am in pain almost every moment of every day. Let me be clear, sometimes it is very mild and minimal. But pain every day and my muscles are so weak that I was carrying a 23.7 flo oz Smartwater water bottle yesterday and my hand just let it go. From my knowledge, I didn't tell it to do that.

I did start answering with a smile and "I'm okay."

That has garnered similar responses, "Good!", "That's wonderful!"

In my world "okay" is a step higher than fine and we all know fine is NO GOOD {just ask your husbands how they feel when you give that answer!}. So, while it leaves me feeling a tad awkward in the conversation, I guess I am glad that people are so glad I am alive and among the living.

How do you answer people when they ask how you are doing and you aren't doing well without feeling like a liar?? I could sure use some advice.

P.S. I could clearly also use some advice on how to take photos alone.


Oh, I am showing up on this blog today. Because I am cool like that ... or just because I am a Mormon. :)


The toAdorn and Target Gift Card giveaways are closed. Because I am not running the entry widget, I cannot announce the winners until I am notified by the hosts of each giveaway. I hope one of my lucky readers win!! :)


Emmy Hornburg said...

I've been in and out of the hospital A LOT in my life - and honestly, being "fine" is okay. Or "I'm doing okay" is usually a good answer too. Unless it's someone you actually want to share with how you're really doing - those are acceptable answers. Because let's be honest, not everyone wants to really hear all of the nitty-gritty of how you're actually feeling. But that way, you can be honest, and you'll be able to tell who actually wants to hear. Because I've noticed when I say "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" some are just all "Oh good! I'm glad you're doing well!" and then we can move onto other conversations. THen there are other people who really notice and are all "Just fine?" or "Just okay?" and then I can tell I'm allowed to give the full "real" answer. Does that make sense?

Edie said...

You could just smile and say something like "They say I am improving," and then change the subject. Emmy's advice is good. I really hope you stop hurting in the near future.

Amy Fashion Blog said...

I have a hard time answering how I feel too.

The Suzzzz said...

What's worse than the upbeat "How are you doing?" is the overly sympathetic frowny face fussy "How ARE you doing?"...I hate that one.

When things aren't going well and I can tell the person doesn't really want to have a conversation or you don't want to talk about it, I usually say "I'm surviving, how are you?" If you immediately turn it around to them it allows you to keep it short and be on your way without getting too involved.

suburban prep said...

I ask my father this and he says I am here.

But I answer the question by Doing OK.

I have s few health issues that are chronic. Some serious. I just go about life though as they are part of me and try to live what is normal for me now.

So when people ask I say I am doing OK. People can take it either way. If you are doing good then you can say that but OK mean middle of the road. Most people ask that question though out of small talk.

I hope that things get better for you.

jill said...

This story is crazy. I hope you get lots of good answers and solutions soon!!

Lauren @ Lot Forty Eight said...

I completely feel you. I have been dealing with chronic pain since I was 15 and it is one of the hardest things in life. When i am going through something, i never know how to handle the question "how are you?" i just don't know what to say either! prayers are with you!

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