I think I thought Christmas was going to be harder than it was.
Don't get me wrong, Christmastime was hard.
But I am not sure if Christmas day was harder. Maybe it is because I was gearing myself up for it.
At one point, I was taking the trash out of my sister home. I went through the garage and saw Steve's car.
I am not sure why, but seeing his car tugs at my heart every time I see it.
I stood there and tears began to stream down my cheeks. I thought of his beautiful wife, children, home, and the gifts his sons were able to open from him this year. And I just thought, "Oh, Steven. Look at all this beauty because of you." And while I ached for him, I was just filled with a peaceful gratitude for him and all the divinity he brought into this world.
I have included some snapshots of how we were able to remember our Steven this month that made our hearts happy and a couple other photos that I know would make his heart happy.
|Tiffany put this ornament on her tree this year. It was the perfect reminder we all needed and that the birth of our Savior brings.|
|My favorite ornament of the year. I ache because of his absence.|
|A friend of my mother's who has also lost a son gave her this ornament.|
|And the most touching experience of all Christmas, Steve's boys were able to open presents from their father, even though he's been gone for three months.|
|Steve's sister, our sister, spent Christmas with us this year. We loved it.|
|Nephew Two asked if I would join him in wearing an Ugly Christmas Sweater for our celebration. I obliged.|