6.21.2013

All the single ladies! All the single ladies!


Yesterday, we had very enlightening discussion about this "gem".


I used the word enlightening facetiously, just in case you didn't know. :)

While yesterday we discussed the "uplifting" quotes that actually are just demeaning others, today I am going to discuss why this thought should be offensive to you if you are single, or know anyone who is single.

The numero uno problemo I see with this is: it uses one's singleness to define them.

And I, for one, absolutely refuse to be defined by my singleness.

And so should you.

Is it a major component of my life?

Yes.

But, by golly, if there is Heaven above {and there is!}, I will NEVER use that term to define me.

I have far too many amazing attributes to be defined one that is less awesome. ;) {P.S. Favorite new meme, "Awesome ends in 'me'. Coincidence? I think not."}

Secondly, my singleness is not what gives me strength. That is taking the credit away from where I believe true credit goes, to my Maker in that Heaven above that was previously mentioned, and, while minimally, to myself for picking up my boot straps and keeping on keeping on.

And your singleness is not what gives YOU strength either. Do not be foolish enough to believe that lie. Our trials are what show our true colors, but they are not what give us our strength. Because then it isn't even our strength, it's the trial's strength. And that is just flat our redonculous!

Thirdly, this is to all the people who know and love a single person ... They do  depend on you, just in different capacity than they would depend on someone they were married to.

My support system my entire life has been uh-maz-ing. And I would be an ingrate to imply I haven't depended on them - ON YOU.

So, if you see this beast of an "uplifting" quote floating around in social media, see it for its lies and deception. And then, if you have heat vision, BURN IT LIKE SUPERMAN, baby! But don't, because you will destroy your computer screen. Buuuut, I guess if you are an alien from another planet who can shoot fire out of your eyes, you have much bigger problems than destroyed computer screens.

And, with that ... I think I am officially off my tirade. And here you thought you were going to get a fun, perky Facebook Finds Friday. Oops. :) I am aiming for that next week though. :)

HAPPY FRIDAY.

7 comments:

Debbie said...

AMEN, SISTER!!!

Shan said...

Beautifully said.

Brooklyn McKenna said...

And now a novel for this post. Ever since I got engaged I have stopped getting invited to things. I literally have heard things like "Well since you're engaged I didn't think you'd want to go with a group to Pizza Pie Cafe." What?! I get a ring and I suddenly hate people and pizza? I didn't just change overnight. I still like to blog, and watch movies, and go on walks, and eat pizza. Why must we define people by their relationship status? End rant.

Rachel Overson said...

It never ends, either. First there are the newlyweds, then the married but no kids, then the married new parents, then the married but only have two or three kids, then the marrieds but have a whole passel of kids. Some how, it's the last category that are only taken "seriously." Like I can't possibly know how hard life or marriage or parenting is because I only have two kids. Pfft. Sorry I can't have more kids, but I do actually know that life and marriage and parenting are hard, and my only having 2 kids shouldn't diminish that or make me any less of a parent! So, I'm not single... But I still understand where you're coming from.

Rachel Overson said...

PS, I'd really love to hear your thoughts on the above comment :)

Krystal said...

This has been an interesting topic that I've been pondering over the past few days while helping a friend prepare for her wedding tomorrow... At 33 and 41, they are already getting comments about how quickly they should start a family, and they aren't even married yet!! I hadn't seen this quote until you posted it, but I agree that it's absurd. I also agree with Rachel's comment above... I remember once at USU being asked how I felt with coming from such a "non-traditional LDS family" because my parents only had 2 children. (Yet, the jerk who said it was dating my roommate who came from a family of 3 kids?! So 3 is okay, but not 1 or 2??) I just had to shut my mouth... I'm sure my parents might have considered having more children had the doctor not told them that a pregnancy would result in my mother's death! So, given the options, they decided to be happy with 2. Why is it anyone's business?? Okay, rant over (I think...)

Amy said...

I think you nailed it, Mindy. I also feel like this quote lessens the power that comes from committed relationships. I, too, am a single person. I'm 29.

This quote kills me because it in essence says that there is weakness in depending on others.(As if relationships in and of themselves create a dependency that is inherently bad.) And you are right, is depending on others such a bad thing?

Relationships involve love, commitment, belief, forgiveness, hope, loyalty, and growth. To me, if you are not depending on others, you are lacking the fundamental things that make a relationship work. And you are right, relationships are everywhere, whether you are single, married, divorced, widowed, etc.

You know how there are all those news articles about 20-30 years olds putting off marriage? Sometimes my heart sinks because I technically fit the demographic but my intention is not to purposely postpone marriage. If anything, I desire it with every fiber of my being.

I believe that strength can come no matter our status. Our worth and purpose are innate from God.

What you said really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing your voice. It is not offensive.

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