3.19.2013

I own my own heart


Shameful admittance: I watch the Bachelor.

Now, don't get me wrong. If I miss an episode, NBD. And sometimes, it bores me to tears so I find myself not really watching at all while it is on in the background and entertaining myself with something - anything! - else.

I watched the season finale last week. And they talked about "journeys" a lot and their hearts a lot. And how so-and-so had captivated their heart or had their heart.

That's nice, I thought. For someone else to own your heart completely.

And then I thought, Hmm ... that's weird. No one owns my heart except myself.

And I am okay with owning my own heart. 

I guess I don't have many other options. Either I own it and take care of it, or no one else will. :)

I haven't always owned my own heart. 

It's been at least partially owned by a few {and completely owned by one} over the years.

And, bless their little hearts, all of them who have partially or fully owned it ... they gave it back. :)

I feel like it has almost always been given back to me kindly.

Sans my favorite little two-timer. :) I had only given him a small portion of my heart {because no question about it, I sensed something was amiss with him}.  And when my favorite two-timer gave me my heart back, it felt more like his mistress returned it. ;)

But others were very kind.

One handed it back to me all wrapped up as prettily has he could. And told me he just couldn't take care of it at the time, but maybe one day in the future. Considering he and his wife now have multiple beautiful children, I don't think he has any intention of taking care of it ever again. ;) But he gave it back to me so gracefully, so carefully, so perfectly.

Another, I believe tried his very best to give it back gently, kindly. But instead of an in-person delivery, it is as if he shipped it first class mail via the United States Postal Service with a fragile {pronounced fra-jill-ay} sticker on it.

Buuut, as we all know ... whatever is inside still gets jostled around. And even, sometimes, shattered.

And shatter it, he did. I just don't think knew a better way ... unfortunate at my expense.

So, yes. I own my own heart.

And that is okay.

And I take care of my own heart.

And that is okay.

I have no control how it is treated by others. But I do have control how I take of it and how I care of the hearts of others {in a lovey-dovey way as well as in a just genuine kindness to all people way}.

And today, while I am thinking of my ownership of my heart, I think of all those other little hearts out there. And how I want to be kinder, more gentler with them.

And so I will.

___

Posts about Sisters Wives, USU basketball and all are still on their way. But this post was already written and didn't require uploading photos. :) Time is something I am in shortage as of late, so this is the best I can do.  P.S. Guess what?? It's Tuesday! Which means ... it is no longer Monday. :)

9 comments:

Shan said...

I really liked this! Darn the shatterers. I totally get owning your own heart. And yay for being Tuesday!

Missy W. said...

Sometimes we just have to arrange for a star shaped sticker by our own names :)

Mandi Roach said...

Hi there! I have ventured over from another blog where I saw your button. I'm enjoying this little peak into your world! Just lovely!

I’m hosting a super duper group giveaway, starting tomorrow. Don’t miss out!

XOXO, Mandi @ All My Happy Endings

Stephanie Cudney said...

It's good to own your own heart before you let someone run away with it!! I love the bachelor as well (ok- I might even stalk a little on instagram- woops)!

Katie Jane said...

This is such an interesting concept to me. Someone "owning" my heart. It makes me think about if my husband actually owns my heart or if he is the one that adores my heart the most. I think the one that ultimately owns my heart is the One that paid the price for my heart. Everyone else only gets a chance to make my heart happy or in turn hurt it if I let them, but the one that owns it can always heal it. That way my heart is always ultimately safe (even if it aches for a bit). Thanks so much for this post.

May I say once again, you are one spectacular lady. Every time I read your posts or see you at Sabor :) it makes me think how remarkable you are. I am glad I know you!!

Mindy said...

Katie:

This obviously figuratively speaking. :) The Lord does own my heart, everything my will and obedience - which is mine to give Him as I choose. ;)

Katie Jane said...

Of course, I just thought it was interesting to think about. Wish I would have thought about it more when I was dating. It would have been helpful. :) You are one smart lady.

Mindy said...

Wellll ... don't give me too much credit. At this point in my life, I am dating TWICE as long as the average LDS member. Haha. So I have a LOT more time to think about these things. ;)

Katie Jane said...

I seriously love you.

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