3.21.2012

The dentist ...

My bi-annual trips to the dentist are without a doubt, the two worst days of my life annually.

I am not sure what it is ... Oh, wait.

I do.

Invasive, much?

I have a large personal space bubble. Someone having their hands in my mouth is definitely, forsurely 110%ly bursting my personal space bubble by about three feet!

And I have a problem with little instruments in my mouth. Not only way it feels, but the way it looks with them sticking out of my mouth.

I have a problem with the way it feels and the way it sounds when they clean my teeth. It's like nails on a chalkboard - in my mouth.

I do not like nails on a chalk board in my mouth, Sam I am.

Also, I have a problem with teeth in general. Really, let's think about this for a second. If you don't keep your teeth clean enough, they fall out, people!

That's like saying if we don't wash our hands good enough, they will fall off.

But then it gets tricky, because if you brush them too much - they also fall out!

All I get from this is: our teeth long and live to FALL OUT.

Stressed, much? YES! I am.

My.teeth.stress.me.out.

Plus, going to the dentist makes me feel like a failure. No matter how well and often I brush/floss, they still have to use the cleaning/scraping thing. I am an adult! Why do I need someone else to clean myself for me?

I seem to do just fine with my hair, my hands, my feet and the rest of my body! Why can't I do it with my teeth?

AND, I gag when they take x-rays. It ain't pretty, people.

Nothing good comes from the dentist!!!!

Well, strike that. The free toothbrush they gave me this time around was ... PINK.

BUT, STILL. I would prefer to spend $3.49 and purchase my own toothbrush than get a "free" one by surviving their torture.

But the fact is this: I did survive their torture.

And when all is said and done, on the bright side, I don't have to return to said torture for 187 days! Buuuuut, on the downside, I have to return to the said torture in 187 days!

P.s. The chocolate chip cookie/Oreo cookie brownie I as soon as I returned home for the dentist made things a little bit better. That's all.

8 comments:

Melissa said...

4 out of 5 dental wives disapprove of this post.

Missy W. said...

I also hate the dentist. I feel like a little kid when I have to fess up that I don't floss every day. Ugh.

Robby Spratt said...

I rather like going to the dentist. I like the feeling of being pampered and attended to. I've never been to a spa, but I imagine that it is a similar feeling of enjoyment.
It could be that I've never had any cavities or complications. Getting drilled would probably dampen my perception.

Shan said...

I can understand why you feel that way. I also hate it when they have to scrape my teeth, makes me feel like a failure. My goal is to go one time and not have to have him scrape anything.

Toni said...

I actually LOVE the dentist!!!! Weird huh?

Meg said...

I'm with you completely on the dentist dislike scale. I only go because I learned the hard way how bad my teeth can get when I avoid the dentist for a few years. Not pretty. Not cheap, either. The x-rays are the ABSOLUTE worst for me.

Linds said...

I am kind of apathetic about the dentist EXCEPT for the fluoride trays. Hate them! It took me years of major gagging and unsightly drooling before they told me they could do them one at a time if I wanted. And you let me go on with them two at a time all these years because...?!

Also, I can always tell when I am majorly stressed because I always dream that my teeth are loose, falling out, or in need of major (expensive) dental work. I have no idea why.

Dennis and Amber Ogilvie said...

Shame on you Mindy, and all you other haters. Do you know what it feels like to wake up and say to yourself, "Self, lets go to work where the first thing people say to you is basically, "I hate you.""
Calculus or tartar accumulates on your teeth naturally, mo matter how much you brush. So don't feel bad if they scrape it off, feel grateful.
Mindy, please provide an alternate blog post that shows the upside of the dentist and how nasty your face would be without them.
Thank you that is all.

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