I cannot decide ...

which title I should use for this post.

1. Facebook: destroying friendships since 2004


2. How to offend .003% of your Facebook friends in 37 days.

Take your pick.

I recently {read as: in the last 37 days} have lost three Facebook friends over horrifically offensive things I have said typed.

I started off my year of offensiveness on the right foot when a friend posted something along the lines of, "I hate the beginning of the New Year. So many annoying new people at the gym who won't even be there in a couple of weeks!"

I responded, "Just remember, you were the new person once too! :)"

Result: defriended.

My offensiveness continued when I attended a Utah State basketball game a couple weeks later and saw that the Aggiettes were not wearing Aggie blue.

The annoucer said, "Let's hear it for your USU spirit squad!"

I responded via FB text and said, "I will consider cheering for the USU spirit squad when they consider wearing Aggie blue."

Result: defriended.

By an Aggiette.


But c'mon! 

I tried to be open-minded about this, after all I was refusing to cheer for them in that "other" blue from down south. I thought, "What if someone told me they would never cheer for me in a race?"

My response would be, after laughing of course, "Okay."

I just don't care if not everyone in the world cheers for every little thing I do. I mean, sure, it would be nice. But really?

And lastly! A co-worker who jokes with me incessantly had a photo of him and his gorgeous new babe on Facebook. Cute, tender photo. Minus his molester-stache. And I indicated so by saying something similiar to, "Too bad daddy has a molester-stache!"

Not too long after I received the following comment in my inbox, "Mindy, you are classless. How dare you write something so offensive on a photo with my baby? You are a despicable person!"

Result: defriended ... and blocked!!


My fingers are sharper than a double-edged sword - and I am not even trying!

The thing is this: I genuinely feel so badly about all three instances. I would never intenionally try to offend someone. After all, I have never started off a sentence with, "No offense ..." Which clearly entails you are about to offend someone! P.s. This also goes for when people start off a sentence with, "I don't mean to brag ..." Uh, yeah. Clearly you do. BUT !!!! Please do not take offense with that!

Because, guess what?

At the current rate I am going, I will eventually offend and lose all my Facebook friends in roughly 96 months!

So all in all, the actual reason this post exists is to say this: I am sooo sorry in advance if you are next!

Until then, I will wash my fingers out with soap! That will show them for not minding their p's and q's! 


Susan said...

I am offended by this post and I will no longer be reading your blog.


Susan said...

But seriously, people are way too sensitive.

Oh, and if I do the math (very roughly) correctly, it seems you have a ridiculous number of FB friends!

On another note, I saw on the news this morning that Facebook is cited as a factor for divorce in 1/3 of all cases. What a world, what a world.

And lastly, I WILL still be your Facebook (and real-life for that matter) friend in 96 months. This I pledge. (:

Have a great day!!

Erica said...

You didn't lose any friends over the breastfeeding post?

I too have lost some friends, although I think it was over real life stuff, not fb. (I mean if your kid beats mine up, and I try to stop him from punching my child in the head, you should definitely unfriend me on fb!)

The way I see it though, is if you are bugging people that bad, you should be grateful when they unfriend you. Better than them reading your posts daily and trash talking you about them..... FWIW.

Avree said...

I think those people chose to be offended. If they had stopped and thought, "what is Mindy's intention?" I doubt they could honestly believe you were trying to hurt their feelings. I also pledge to still be your FB friend in 96 months.

Robby Spratt said...

Can I make some observations? I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I know you in person, so I think I know a little bit about your personality.
I've noticed that you have a flair for sarcasm. In person you come across as really funny, bubbly, and fun to be around.
However, I've learned that sarcasm doesn't translate to written language very well. I think it usually comes across as though the person was being overly critical, or as if the person is complaining about everything.
The other thing I have learned, that Susan pointed out, is that people are pretty sensitive about a lot of things, and you never know what will set them off.
Also, people generally don't like being corrected, or publicly reprimanded, no matter how good your intentions are. You will come across as being pedantic or better-than-thou.
And finally, when someone is critical of something that you really like, or are proud of, it doesn't matter if the person is joking or not; it comes across as being really rude.
Yes people are probably being oversensitive, but I suppose that if we want to go through life inoffensively, we need to take people's sensitivities into account.
If you haven't already, I would suggest reading How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. He talks about all this stuff, and it really helped me learn to be more personable.
Good luck!

Katie Jane said...

Really. People should grow up. Grow some chest hair. Or a molester stache! But really? Getting that offended over stupid facebook comments is ridiculous. Say what you want, Mindy. If people are going to get overly sensitive, awesome. All you're doing is getting rid of the facebook friends that are annoying. Who wants annoying facebook friends (unless they post really great pictures to make fun of)?

Shan said...

Mindy, I have a feeling I wouldn't be offended. I have never known you to purposely offend someone. I take most of the things you say as sarcastic or joking or teasing.

Dan and Laura said...

Wow. That's too bad. Makes me wonder about the friends that have defriended ME. I rarely even post on FB. I must be offensive some other way. ;)

Meg said...

I think I can safely promise NEVER to defriend you on FB. :)

Bryce and Lacey said...

So you make me laugh just about everyday....at times you are the only thing that can make me laugh! I just realized through this post that I don't even think we are friends on facebook.....how many laughs am I missing out on because of this.....this is tragic....

Allred Mom said...

I am been defriended and blocked, too. I even had a sister (who I taught in seminary) block me from her brothers facebook account (who I also taught in seminary) when he went on a mission. I have to admit. That one hurt and still does since I have no idea why I was even blocked. But, then I realize, that if they blocked me or defriended me, they didn't want to hear what I had to say.....and that makes them not true friends anyway. Friends accept you and don't let you offend them. Being offended is a choice. Elder Bednar taught us that! Have a great day, Mindy! You're still my friend on facebook! :)

Lissa Chandler said...

Not gonna lie, I think sometimes people get a sense of power by defriending their Facebook friends and even more of a sense of power when they block 'em. Also, I think that people get embarrassed easily when someone they joke with a lot writes something on Facebook that their other friends don't understand. I mean, sometimes because of real life there are reasons to defriend someone and, if someone has made you feel attacked or victimized, I get blocking. I've been blocked by someone once and it was meant much more as a slap in the face than anything else and I would imagine that's usually the case. To each their own I guess, but in most cases, I think, blocking is pretty childish.

Missy W. said...

If I'm more offensive than you, will you feel better? Here we go...

"Don't worry, you have lost a cheerleader and a man with a molester-stache. Once you add in the snooty gym bunny it sounds to me like the average IQ of your facebook friend pool just went UP! Keep up the good work!

Hope that helps :)

Brandon and Erica said...

Seriously? I didn't even know stuff like this existed outside of Junior High Facebookers. Hilarious!! I loved this post, Mindy. Of course, not for the reason that you are FB friendless ;) but because I am cracking up at your hilarious FB posts and how people actually go as far as to unfriend you. Reality check: we've been out of HS for like 11 years, right? Hilarious.

Don't worry, I love your FB posts....sarcasm, slander and all ;) Keep em coming.

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