Thank you, Wife Swap ...

I was a little under the weather last week.

What this means is I took a day and a half off from work. And, naturally, went to my mama's house.

At my mama's house she takes care of Mindy when she is sick. Plus, they have Dish TV, soooo when I sit and do nothing {err ... while my body heals itself}, I can veg out and do nothing ... unless  you count brain rot as something.

However, amongst the brain rot, there was a Wife Swap marathon on. And dare I say, I think it was on Lifetime?

For those of you not familiar with the show, they take two wives/mothers and have them switch places for a week {the show will tell you two, but I am convinced one}. And the first couple of days the new wives have to do everything the real wife would do, but then they get to make new rules and have the family do things their way.

I would be totally amiss if I didn't take this time to express my gratitude to Wife Swap for reminding me how extremely normal my family is {which, depending on the day could be a difficult task}.

The show also makes me want to express gratitude to my parents for:

Not being the founders of Pirrattitude ... which entails dressing up as pirates as every day attire, not just the parents, but the kids too.

Not being obsessed with animals ... For example, having nine dogs {all of which reside INSIDE the home} along with a goat {that also resides in the home!}. Let's recap that real quick: A GOAT LIVES INSIDE THE HOME. And all doors have been removed from the home so the animals can roam freely. Ho-k. You be crasy.

Never at any point of our lives, having a kangaroo in our home.

Never at any point have a full, real bear head on the bottom shelf of our fridge.

Not naming me or any of my siblings Bambi.

Understanding that dog poo does not belong on the carpet, especially not for days at a time.

Realizing that to nourish a child they should feed them FOOD, opposed to trying to get the same energy from  ... staring at the sun.

Not making me do 10 push-ups for every time we did not respond with, "Yes, ma'am" or "Yes, sir".

Not making us look in dumpsters for hidden treasures.

Not making us spend hours every.single.day clipping out coupons.

Letting me wear pantelones.

Not pursuing their rock and roll dreams {and only their rock and roll dreams into their 60's} ... if they even had any rock and roll dreams to begin with ?? But still.

Knowing what a washer and drier are, using them frequently and even teaching me how to use them!

Not for making us chase UFO's.

Not having ever had this thought cross their mind once, "How do you get to the point where you believe that cleaning is the best use of your time?" We're not talking hours on end daily, people. We are talking about washing.the.dishes. Wiping.down.counters. Sweeping.the.floor.occasionally. Putting.things ... away. Wow. Wow. Wow. I may or may not have said audibly to the television, "By reminding ourselves that it is how we avoid being on another reality TV show, Hoarders. Heard of it much?"

And lastly for today, I am thankful to my parents for never making me have to bottle deer urine.

Thank you, Wife Swap. Thank you!!


Avree said...

Wow, I've never seen that show but it sounds like a winner!

Shan said...

That show cracks me up every time I watch and now I want to see the episodes you saw.

cole linnae said...

ive seen the majority of those episodes hahah. the pirate one and the deer pee one are the weirdest!

Linds said...

My mom never made us dumpster dive, but she didn't stop us either.Probably explains a lot : ) Also,I knew a girl growing up named Bambi...She was fairly normal considering : )

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