8.15.2011

Oh, the blasphemies and lies!

Back in the early 2000's {is that how you even say that?} I invented a game.

It's called the deodorant game.

And this is how it is played: each player must use the word deodorant at the end of every sentence. The first person not to use the word deodorant at the at of the sentence loses.

I feel like now would be an appropriate time to play that game, deodorant. And you will soon see why, deodorant.

I was listening to the radio the other day while driving to or from work - errr to or from one place to another, deodorant. The night before I had just been eaten alive by mosquitoes at our company softball game {which we lost}, deodorant. So imagine my great pleasure when the radio man mentions a home remedy for the nasty bug bites, deodorant.

Speaking of deodorant, that was the home remedy, deodorant! The radio dude said to reduce inflammation, redness, and itchiness of mosquito bites one should apply deodorant to the bites, deodorant.

Naturally, I believe everything I hear on TV {yes, Three Minutes Legs will get me in the best shape of my life, especially if I pair it with the shake weight, deodorant!} and the radio, deodorant. So as soon I got home I whipped out my deodorant and began applying deodorant, deodorant.

Annnnd, of course, someone, namely my roommate, had to catch me in the act, deodorant.

But Jilly doesn't believe everything she sees/hears on the TV/radio, deodorant.

So she mocked me, deodorant.

But not really being one to care what others think about me to any significant extent, I just kept applying deodorant to my mosquito bites, deodorant.

I went to bed completely convinced that I would wake up and have seen a modern-day deodorant miracle, deodorant!

But this post isn't titled "Oh, the blasphemies and lies!" for nothing, deodorant.

It must include blasphemies and lies, deodorant. And it does, deodorant.

When I woke up I saw absolutely no reduced redness, inflammation or itchiness, deodorant.

I cannot recall the last time I woke up so disappointed, deodorant.

Oh, wait, deodorant. I can, deodorant. It was when I Jilly bought me these babies {yup, my roommates and I sometimes have "As Seen on TV" nights where we go to Ross and for one dollah purchase "As Seen on TV" items and try them out}, deodorant. Not only did I not feel detoxified, they stunk to high heaven and I gagged, deodorant.

Swear words to everyone who lies to me, deodorant!

And I suppose the lesson we could potentially learn here is that you should never believe all you see/hear on TV/radio, deodorant.

But you should believe everything you read on my blog, deodorant. And you should most definitely play the deodorant game at some point today, deodorant. 100 gold stars for each person you get to play along with you, deodorant. 100 more gold stars if you blog about said game, deodorant. And if you don't have a blog, you can post it on FB, deodorant.

Peace out peeps, deodorant.

***
P.s. Sometimes I really hate blogger. And now would be sometimes. I don't understand why it has so many issues. If I want something in a larger font or a small font, blogger should oblige. I am the human. Do as I say. For humans.trump.everything!

3 comments:

Meg said...

I definitely don't believe everything on TV/radio, deodorant.

Melissa said...

This deodorant post is the best deodorant-related thing I have ever read, deodorant.

I played this game with my boys, and it was funny because they say it like deeee-oy-an-ant or deoriant or DOY-ee-ant. We had fun, deodorant.

Katie said...

That is hilarious, deodorant!! This sounds like a fun game to play on a road trip, deodorant. I can hardly even spell deodorant, deodorant. Every time I type the word "deodorant" I spell it wrong and have to correct delete it and start again, deodorant. Oh Mindy, you are way too entertaining (deodorant)!

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