You Know You’re A Dietitian…

This post has been brought to you by Avree S. Ethingtor {and this post here, where I offered to write about whatever my reader's little hearts desired!}.

To alleviate any confusion, this post may very likely not be interesting. Now, I know you see this text, and that's why you're looking. But I think it's only fair to let you know that this whole bit of text may be ultimately unfulfilling. Granted, you might feel that about other things I've written, but this time it's different. I told Avree I would talk about registered dietitians this month. So, unless you are a registered dietitian, you just might want to go read something else. Something more rewarding. A book about chickens, perhaps. I know, chickens may sound boring, but it can't be much worse than me attempting to write about something I have no clue about, can it? Besides, chickens was just a random example. I don't even know if there are any books about chickens. Well, other than "The Little Red Hen", "Chicken Little", and the novelization of "Chicken Run". But that's not the point.

The point is ...

Oh, registered dietitians.

Yes, that's right.

15 Ways To Know You’re A Dietitian
{Did I steal this from here, by doing a Google search? Why, yes. Yes, I did.}

1. When you happen to run into your friends at the grocery store, they strategically eyeball the contents of your shopping cart. {I have never ran into Avree at the grocery store, but now that I am informed I will be certain to do so as I now feel obligated. I would do it to all other dietitians I know, but Avree is the only one ... well, besides her sister whom I feel like I know ... but I really don't. I just know of her but can still recognize if I see her. A little creepy, no?}

2. When you go out to eat, your party waits to see what you order. {Never thought of this ... Which I should have! A wrap sounds so much healthier than chicken alfredo! But to my defense, it was chicken BROCCOLI alfredo!}

3. If you have ever dreamt about calories, the FGP, Kreb’s cycle, etc. {I definitely would fall to sleep faster if I thought about dreaming about those things ... I don't even know what a FGP or Kreb is!}

4. When someone finds out you’re a dietitian, you have to hear what they’ve eaten for the past two weeks. {I really just don't think Avree cares to know what has been in my belly. And I am going to assume that no one cares what has been in my belly.}

5. You can blame anything on food: "Oh, you’re not getting enough ______."

6. You can solve anything with food: "Oh, you just need some ______." {Not gonna lie, five and six sound the same to me.}

7. You special order at every restaurant! {This is kinda making me feel like dietitians not named Avree might be high maintenance!}

8. You’re either hyper-organized or super un-organized! {Uhm, can't you say this about any person in any profession? Besides, I have never heard of someone "mediocrely organized" - have you?}

9. You would be rich if you had a quarter for every time you’ve explained to a patient that you didn’t cook their food. {Having never spent a day in my life with a dietitian when they were being a dietitian, I still think this one is probably true.} :)

10. You share the same name as the Jr. High School cafeteria workers: "The Food Lady".

11. People that eat around you start out by saying "I know it’s bad."

12. You have to make special trips for treats because you wouldn’t dare keep any at home. {Uhm, I don't believe this one ... primarily because the last time I was at Avree's she made me some stellar chocolate, gooey, brownie goodness!}

13. You look at others’ plates and immediately do a calorie count. {I doubt this ... what a miserable and judgmental life they would lead, no?}

14. You duck, in attempt to conceal your identity, if you ever drive or ride through a drive-through. {I cannot attest to this ... but Avree shows her identity loud and proud every time we go out for ice cream.} :)

15. You keep family and friends from eating anything that has been in the "danger zone". {Danger Zone ... liiiike ... the goat brains I saw the models on ANTM eating last week?}

Ethingtor, enlighten us. How accurate is this?

And for everyone else ... if you want to give me a top five list of  "You know you are a  ________" filled in by your profession, I will give you 100 gold stars.

P.s. No one sent in any photographs of themselves attempting to touch their elbows together. Clarification: you don't have to actually be able to do it - I just want to see the attempt. 1,000 gold stars up for the taking in that one!


Mike said...

My EFY co-coordinator was a dietician, and I heard about the danger zone all summer long. For real.

Avree said...

I pretty much agree with 1,2,3,4,5,9,10,11,and 15. I really am sort of a nazi about the danger zone but who really wants to spend their night in the bathroom? Not me. I especially like #9, I love it when I go into a patient's room to give them diet education and all they can do is complain about the food I made. Really? You think I can cook enough food for an entire hospital and have time to run around assessing patients? Sorry but no.

Erica said...

Please Mindy, tell me you knew you wrote "still"? ;)

Shan said...

How exactly would we send you said picture>

As for a top five for my profession:

You know you work for BYU Continuing Education when:

1. Your work is done in the first two hours you are there.

2. You walk through the halls and see almost every computer watching Hulu.

3. The most exciting part of your day is checking blogs.

4. You get defensive when people bash on the summer programs (like EFY).

5. You don't ever want to hear John Bytheway speak again. (That sounded harsh didn't it?)

Meg said...

You know you are a Geographer when:
1. You never give directions anything like this: "Go past the red house, turn right or maybe left, then you'll see a big sign--I can't remember what it says--and there you are. You can't miss it."
2. You decorate your house (and your blog) with maps and globes.
3. When you see a map, you stop to look.
4. You can point out all the errors on the maps you look at.
5. You can spend hours on Google Earth, just because.

Or, I guess I could do this:
You know you're a stay-at-home-mom when:
1. You have a screaming, kicking child on the floor next to you and you can still eat your lunch as though nothing is abnormal.
2. All phone conversations include dialogue with your children, which can be confusing to the person on the other end.
3. You don't think anything of having spit-up down your shirt.
4. You find yourself singing random kids' songs in your head (and sometimes out loud), when your children aren't even around.
5. It takes an hour of preparations just to make a quick trip to the grocery store.

Andi said...

Enjoyed all of this!

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