My favorite goodbye ...

Four years ago today I said, "Peace out, boy scout!" to Provo, Utah after living there for six excruciating months. I am just not too sure Provo is the place for any little true-blooded Aggie to live and survive. But that is beside the point.

The point is this, as soon as Adam heard I was moving I received this via email, affectionately called The List:

Section 1.0 The following is a list of activities that Mindy Marie Thornley must do to before she has the right to leave Provo. She has the intent to leave Provo and return to her home town of Logan, UT.

Section 1.1 The following list is not comprehensive and the creator reserves the right to add to or take away from this list at any time.

Section 1.11 Mindy Marie Thornley, must also note that these list items may not be done by herself or with the same person (unless accompanied by a “different person” you have not completed a list item with).

Section 1.2 The description of a "different person" or persons is:
Not one of your immediate friends
Someone you have never met before
Someone who is wearing an article of BYU clothing that you don’t otherwise know
A long lost friend
A USU student that doesn’t know who you are
Someone with whom you have not made contact with ever (verbally or physically)
Someone that you have not spoken to
Someone that you like but have not spoken too
A grocery store clerk
A neighboring car driver

This description is comprehensive. Please refer to your commonsense.

Section 1.21 Mindy may or may not choose her immediate friends to accompany her throughout the list completion process. Her immediate friends may count as a different person ONCE.

Section 1.22 While completing a list item in a group of friends, and if the list item only requires one “different person” present, Mindy may choose one of the people and use any of the others again if not previously used.

Section 2.0 A reasonable amount of time is more than, but not limited to one hour.

1. Eat a meal at the Morris Center

2. Organize a bonfire up Provo Canyon with at least 10 people

Because the weather outside was frightful, Adam let me veto the bonfire. It was the end of January at an elevation of 5,000 feet. What were you thinking?

3. Buy BYU paraphernalia at the BYU bookstore

And what did I buy?

4. Go to the Provo City offices and tell them how much you love Provo.

5. Verbally acknowledge to a different person, in natural conversation, that BYU is better than USU and state more than one valid reason why

6. Eat a meal at the Canyon Center

7. Stay on BYU campus longer than an hour while maintaining positive thoughts about BYU for the WHOLE TIME! (Any deviation from positive thoughts will result in a restart of the one hour time limit).

I opted to go to Memorial Hall ... and knew I could keep out the negative thoughts only by ...

Taking a nap for the hour. :)

8. Write a letter to the “Daily Universe” detailing, in all truthfulness, something positive about BYU or Provo. The topic must be relevantly related and interesting to read. Normal sentence structure and spelling is required.

9. Convert (or dedicate a reasonable amount of time) a USU student to thinking BYU is actually a good school. They must not know you have been "required" to tell them these positive thing.

Clearly, I am convinced with every word I am telling them.

10. Attend an endowment session in the Provo Temple

11. Tell the people you work with how much you love Provo.

12. Tell one BYU student (that is not creepy or otherwise weird) that you would love to go on a date with them. NB: This student must be someone that you do not otherwise associate with aka a “different person” – refer to section 1.2

Yeah, this one clearly went over well.

13. Make a BYU Blue cake with a big white “Y” in the middle and give it to Bishop.

He loved it. He tried to express the magnitude of this moment ... A die-hard Aggie making a BYU cake. Sigh.

14. Eat a meal in the “Cougareat”. This activity requires you to sit down at a table with someone you have not met and make conversation.

15. Go into the ASB and retrieve the forms to apply to the Masters Program at BYU. You must fill these forms out. Openly admit your desire to attend BYU on Facebook. If asked why, tell the you are getting the forms to apply.

Yes, I did fill out all 18 pages.

When I was finished I might have done this with them ...

16. Create a "List Appreciation" day on your holiday calendar

17. Get the phone number of a "different person" of the opposite sex and call the (or have them call you). You must either have a one minute conversation with this person on the phone or leave a 30 second message.

18. Write a letter to a missionary in another state or country telling them how much fun you've had since being at BYU.

19. Exercise on campus in the BYU gym

... I had to prepare myself for this ... which Aggie shirt to wear?

And in case it gets cold, I better have a long-sleeve.

Maybe a hoodie too.

And pants.

And a beanie.

And if I got too warm, I would need to put all those extra clothes in something.

We finally did make it.

20. Take a walk along the Provo River Trail

21. Take a BYU guided tour – refer to the BYU Visitors Center

22. Find and learn the words to the BYU fight song

This is me memorizing them. Pff.

23. Go into the Utah County Offices and calendar.tell a staff member that you “absolutely adore Provo”

24. For one week, whenever you walk into a store in Provo or Orem, tell the staff that they are doing a great job and that you love Provo!

Yes, this is me at the DI ... I had to buy something for the next task ...

25. Hold an "I love BYU and Provo" dinner in your home and invite more than 10 “different persons” – Refer to section 1.2. At least five people must attend. Five of these different persons in attendance may not be used again.

The last time I ever spent time with Craig.

Can you see my homemade t-shirt? I heart Provo because YOU live here!

And I sure do love all these people!

26. The crowning event: Hike the Y. Once at the top you must yell or sing by memory, the BYU Fight Song! Ra ra ra ra ra!

I had to prepare my lips for the cold. Notice the brand of chapstick?

Here we are hiking up the bloody trail. And I literally mean bloody. There was drops of blood part of the way up. Can you say, "Super gross?"

Adam was pleased to find this stick.

Shaped like a Y while hiking the "Y".

We finally made it to the top! Where I did sing the BYU Fight Song by memory.

My roommate Amy was a pal and made the trek with us. Many times she was one of my saving graces during those six months in Provo. I don't know if she ever knew that.

And after all was said and done ... I was able to do this ...

Load up Eddie and drive home. One.of.the.best.moments.in.my.life.

Several months later, I got a surprise in the mail. A BYU Boot Camp certificate of competition ... signed by BYU President Samuelson and President of the United State of America, George W. Bush {Photo will be included when I can find where I saved it to!}. :)

Word to Adam. And word to my favorite goodbye. And word to you if you actually read all of this. 500 gold stars to you. :)

Below you will see the actual letter I sent to the BYU school newspaper. :)


Allred Mom said...

Awesome post! And because Adam made you do it, I heart Adam....is there still a facebook page of that??? It was fun to read! I think your "bonfire" was the burning of the Masters Program application! :)

Allred Mom said...

500 points for me!!!! WAHOOOOOOOO! And go BYU! lol

And congrats to Utah for making the top 20 in the BBall poll!

Jared said...

Mindy, you are clearly a superior person than me. I could not have done half of the things on that list, especially having to go around town telling people how much I love BYU, saying USU wasn't as good, etc.

I would've instantly defriended my friend. In real life. No true friend would inflict cruel and unusual punishment on their amigo.

Andrea said...

that is a great goodbye.

Mike said...

There are so many things on this list that I never did. And I don't really regret it, either.

Avree said...

How did you get to be so hillarious?

Meisha Marie said...

Wow. That was intense.

I'll be honest... I am impressed that you actually did all of those!

DeeAura said...

Hahah!!! Oh my goodness, this is my new favorite thing you've posted. :) Go Adam, and Go MINDY. :)

Toni said...

I just want to point out (again) that I don't really like much of this list ...just sayin. Go Aggies!!!!!!!!

Lee and Ashley said...

haha I love this! And I am so proud of you for giving provo a great goodbye!

Shan said...

That's awesome! And oh my heart hurt a little to see that pic of C-Deck. I miss that boy.

Erica said...

This was seriously the funnest post to read, especially as a Cougar. :)
1. I loved that you called the Cannon Center the Canyon Center. :)
2. That was quite the wonderful list Adam gave you--pretty much got Provo covered. I bet you know Provo in ways even most Cougars don't!
3. Oh, and I love that you have pictures of it all to prove it! Do you seriously have a certificate signed by President Samuelson?! That would make many a cougar quite jealous of you, little Aggie you.

(Whoa, okay, way long comment...)

Meg said...

500 gold stars. :) Did you follow up the BYU fight song with "Utah State, hey, Aggies all the way!"?

Katie said...

HAHAHA! I didn't know there were so many cool things to do in Provo. I missed out :)

Allison and Josh said...

haha! One of my favorite posts. EVER!

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