4.29.2010

The odds ...

You have a one in 6,000 chance of injuring yourself every time you shave.

Your odds of becoming a professional athlete are the same as the odds of your parachute not opening up while skydiving.

Your odds of winning the lotto are the same as meeting and befriending George Clooney.

If you are between the ages of 20-30 you have an 86% chance of getting married.

If you are between the ages of 30-40 you have a 74% chance of getting married.

If you are in your 40's you have a 40% chance of getting married.

If you are in your 50's and single, you are more likely to be attacked by a terrorist than get married.

If you are a girl and have a close guy friend, he is twice as more likely to fall for you and want to date you than you are to fall for and want to date him.

And most importantly ... you have a one in 10,000 chance of being injured by your toilet.

No need to thank me for the enlightenment today. As always, just throw money in my general direction.

***
P.s. Does anyone have any toilet injury stories? Please share. Please, oh, please share.

4.25.2010

Today ...

I killed a spider.

I got a sliver in my left index finger. It hurt. Excruciatingly. You probably think this is an exaggeration. It is not.

I wasn't expecting a text from him.

I was domestic.

I asked my roommates to explain some of the intricacies of boiling water. Yes, intricacies of boiling water.

I forgot that I was cooking something on the stove. My roommates had to remind me.

I didn't burn down my home while being domestic or boiling water. Probably directly related to the above fact.

I sat at my adorable, little table eating more spaghetti in one sitting than anyone should eat in two.

I thought of the person who helped me put that table together ... and missed him. More than I can find the words to express.

I thought how you shouldn't miss someone that much who only lives a block away.

I wondered if he'd read this blog post ... and concluded no.

I laughed at the Old Spice commercial. For the one-gazillionth time.

I watched part of a cheesy, not-so-realistic movie on Lifetime.

I still can't figure out why I watched the cheesy, not-so-realistic movie on Lifetime.

I painted my toenails and clipped my fingernails.

I stole a dress from my sister's closet to wear to Church.

I decided I wanted to own the dress I stole from my sister's closet. She will find out when she reads this that I intend on giving it back to her when ... she finds me a husband.

I gagged while swallowing a pill.

I had to talk myself out of gagging while brushing my teeth.

I looked into making my blog a book.

I told myself that I will pay that speeding ticket this week ... It was due last Wednesday.

I learned that if you accidentally type in http://www.dictiomary.com/ ... that you still end up at a site that dictionizes words for you. And I had actually used it, I would have learned dictionizes is not a word.

I remembered last minute to wear a slip to Church.

I had a fabulously horrible picnic with my family. The wind started to blow and froze us to pieces, and caused our food and plates to blow away. The picnic was short-lived and had to be relocated. My mom took my plate away from me as I was trying to put my chip in the dip.

I yelled at the dogs in the backyard to be quiet. Again. And they barked louder. Again. It's a vicious dance the dogs and I keep doing.

I found out that the party I said I would "maybe"attend on Facebook was at my house. It is going on downstairs while I type this. I am hiding in my room.

I drove all the way to my parents' house just to get a piece of pie. And a glass of milk. It was fantastic.

I hoped and prayed for something because I felt it was right ... but I am terrified to see the outcome.

I got invited to another Facebook group asking for my address to send a wedding invitation to ... For one of my seminary students.

I saw the adorable shirt my little sister bought for two dollah. It was pink. I want to own it too ... How do I get my hands on it?

I listened to this song for the gazillionth time.

I set my alarm clock for five minutes earlier so I would have more time to make my bed before I leave for work at 6:50am. Okay, this is a lie. I didn't set it eaarlier. But I hope that saying it means I will do it sometime soon.

I realized I hadn't posted in nearly a week ... and that's why this post exists.

What did YOU do today? :)

4.19.2010

Tsk, tsk, tsk ...

This is why I will never be shopping at Seagull Book ever again ...


Really? You call that artwork? Gag me with a pitchfork. And this was in Logan, peeps. Pff. Who would want any of those in their home? Seriously, who? Pff.

Oh, and I am really surprised {and disappointed} that more people didn't care or seem to be impressed that I survived an earthquake. Whatev.

:)

4.15.2010

I am ...

pretty much a big deal.

I just survived an earthquake.

No applause necessary.

Just throw money in my general direction.

4.10.2010

Instead ...

of taking the Caribbean cruise for Spring Break, I went to St. George and Vegas to get some warmth that Logan was severely lacking {it snowed almost a foot on Tuesday last week!}. It was a short trip because I wanted to actually get back with enough time to have felt I had some downtime before I had to go back to work again. When I go on trips I cram everything I can in until the last possible moment that I have to return to work ... But since I have already been to St. George and Vegas {countless times ... on my way to Disney, of course} I figured it didn't have to be a go-GO-GO trip. Which was nice. :)

First night there we went to the St. George Temple {and Visitors' Center}.

My great-something-or-another-grandpa actually built the staircase inside the Temple ... We didn't go inside. One day I will, to see how those stairs look. Before I do, I figure I ought to know who he is and how he is related to me. :)


Here I am with my co-worker, old roommate, and friend Staceyanne. :)



This next picture exists ...

because I figure this will be the closest I will ever be to coming out of the Wedding Exit at any Temple. :)


Because a lot of the hiking-type adventures were not possible for us this trip, we decided to go check out a house we heard a lot about.

This house ... and I really like this view of it because it makes me think that I am on the set of Little House on the Prairie {which, ironically, I once owned a dress that looked like Laura Ingals. I have a photo of said dress, let me know if you want to see it}. Now back to the house ...

It is the home of Jacob Hamblin. And if you are anything like Stacey and I ... that means nothing to you. :) I mean, we gathered that he was some Latter-day Saint pioneer who trekked across the country, but why was he super cool? I mean, I am super cool, but we don't see anyone currently taking any measures to ensure the longevity of the homes/apartments I have lived in, now have we?

Turns out that Jacob Hamblin was instrumental in making peace between the Natives and the Latter-day Saints. He learned their language, was known for his complete honesty with the Natives, was responsible for numerous peace treaties that saved the lives of countless Saints, and also put an end to a second massacre that was to follow the Mountain Meadow Massacre. He also taught the gospel to the Natives and over 400 baptisms followed.

Maybe that's why they turned his house into a historical site. Maybe. No one can be quite sure. ;)

Following Jacob Hamblin's home we continued the historic tour to this home.

Some dude lived here that some of you may or may not have heard of ... His name was Brigham Young. Ever heard of him? Second prophet of the Church? And apparently there are like three universities names after him ... or something crasy like that. This home was his winter home because the winters in Salt Lake City were to hard on him with his health conditions.



This next picture has a fun story.

Notice the cute green gate? When the paint game in for the St. George Temple, President Young found out that they had sen the wrong color ... instead of white, green. President Young didn't want the paint to go to waste so he painted part of his {as you can see in the photo of his house} but also encouraged the Saints to all go home, clean up their yards, and if they did not have a gate, build one ... and paint it green. There is actually an adorable little green gate community in St. George that still exists today. :)

Staceyanne and I in front of the gate. :) Cute.

After the historic tour Stacey wanted to do some shopping ... Now, I know I am probably the most sophisticated person you know ... and so this next photo might not only come as a shock to you, but also immature. Get over it. :)

Seriously. One letter can describe this: H.



While holding this up I realized something.

Yes, it can fit on my HEAD. Oh.my.



Now, moving on ... :) These two shots were views from our window at dinner.


Oh, and then I may or may not have stalked some polygamists. Oops. :)

The next day we headed off to Vegas ... And if you are catching onto a little theme with most of my vacays ... We stopped at the Las Vegas Temple!

And because I like Temples, here are a couple more of this one. :)






It was then off to the Stratosphere rides! The first was Insanity {that's actually the name of the ride, which ironically enough one must be insane to do ...}

A massive mechanical arm extends 64 feet over the edge of the tower and spins you at 3Gs. Here I am, wanting to die.




I was a little vocal on the ride {surprise, surprise}. One of the riders told me, "Don't worry, get a drink in your system and you will feel a lot better." I told him I was Mormon and didn't drink and he said, "Well, now would be the perfect time to start." Hahahaha!

The next ride ...



X-Scream is a giant teeter-totter that propels you 27 over the edge of the tower, 866 feet above the ground. It propels you so fast it feels like you are just falling straight over the edge!

In the photo below am in the back row ... Ironically enough, wanting to die again.



Then the last ride ...

Big Shot ... It shoots passengers straight up 160 feet at 45mph until you are 1,081 feet above the Strip. I am the third person over in the photo below.



After the rides we went to Bellagio to see a fountain show.


And then off to M&M World!

I bet you cannot guess which ones I got!

Different shades of pink! Perfection! P.s. I didn't realize until after I purchased them that they were $12.99 a pound. No, you did not read that wrong. And no, I did not mis-type it. $12.99 a pound. Most expensive two pounds of M&Ms of my life! Haha!



Then came the bestest part of the day ... Guess who I got to see!?

Oh, my goodness!! It is Michelle and Brandon! Holy smokes! Made my day life!!

P.S. This is pretty much what I saw when I walked in the door and they saw me.



Followed by ...

Yes, people ... This is the reception I normally receive from just about everyone I know. If it is currently not the reception I receive from you, maybe you ought to rethink how you greet me ... Because quite frankly, the Richardes are out-shinning you. But that's not new to anyone who knows them, they have been out-shining most people in most everything since at least 1976. P.s. It must be said that one of the best blog posts ever written can be found here {100 gold stars if you read it and tell me what you like most about it ... And, no, I am not self-absorbed} and it was written by Michelle. I told her during our visit that I am looking forward to the second installment of that post. :) :) :) :) {Seriously though, Brandon and Michelle! I had a fabulous time!! I heart all three of you!!!}


After visiting the Richardes we headed back to St. George to our hotel. I had previously lost my camera battery charger. I bought a new "one" at a local store and couldn't figure out why it was so expensive.


Oh, it's because you really are buying 14-million chargers. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Seriously. Each one of those is a charger. I just want my old one back!!!!!!!! Blek. Curses. Swearwords.


Anyway, I have no more photos of my trip {stop singing rejoices ... although if you are still with me ... 500 gold stars for Y-O-U! Hurry! Hurry! Earn as many as you can!}.

Oh, and P.S. I may have gotten a speeding ticket for going 16 mph over the speed limit. Oops. Which is ironic because while Staceyanne was driving she: ran a red light, stopped for another red light in the middle of the intersection, would have hit a median had I not pointed it out to her, missed a stop sign, and parked my car in a lot that actually was gated and locked when we returned. Seriously, and I am the one with ticket? 

Please.

Dear Legal System:

You have failed me.

Miserably.

Sincerely,

Mindy M. Thornley


Peace out, peeps.

4.07.2010

I heart them ...

Today we are going to talk about some of my favorite people on the entire face of the earth. They are my favorites for lots of reasons. One of those reasons is because it is virtually impossible for them to take a happy, perky family photo.

Try One:


Try 2:
Try 3:

Yup, that's the best we got. 75% of the family smiling, not bad ... not bad. :)

If you recall from this post, I have given up on trying to get the little ones to smile without incentive. While coloring eggs the day before I paid the smallest a dollah to take a picture with me. Best dollah spent of my life. :)

Oh, in case you were wondering ... Yes, that is me wearing a sweatshirt {a super cute sweatshirt, I might add} in April. Oh, I heart Logan, Utah and it's spastic weather. :) And due to the fact that we got over six more inches of that crasy white stuff dumped on us two days ago, for Spring Break I am headed out to St. George today!

It's not Carribean cruise {which is where I should have been ... And don't worry, someone is there in my place, on my penny. I hope they pay me back soon. Hmm.} :( ... But it'll do, I 'spose.

So, peace out, peeps. I'll be back on Saturday. AND: the gold star winner will be announced!!!

***
You still have opportunities to earn gold stars:

1. Scroll down and in the right-hand column you will see how you can earn 1,000 more.
2. You can earn 100 just by commenting on this post.
3. And you can listen to this song I am a tad obsessed with, tell me how amazing you think it is, and earn 100 more! :)

4.04.2010

He is Risen!

They Know Him:
Latter-day Prophets Testify of Christ

The ancient Apostles of Christ once testified of His divine nature and mission ... And now modern-day apostles continue to bear witness that He lives.

Joseph Smith: “The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.”

Brigham Young: “Can all the wisdom of the world devise means by which we can be redeemed, and return to the presence of our Father and Elder Brother, and dwell with holy angels and celestial beings? No, it is beyond the power and wisdom of the inhabitants of the earth … to prepare or create a sacrifice that will pay this divine debt. But God provided it, and his Son has paid it.”

John Taylor: “As the Son of Man, He endured all that it was possible for flesh and blood to endure; as the Son of God He triumphed over all, and forever ascended to the right hand of God.”

Wilford Woodruff: “When they led Jesus to the cross, the very moment that spirit departed from that sorrowful tabernacle, it held the keys of the kingdom of God in all of its strength and power and glory the same as he had done while in the body.”

Lorenzo Snow: “The spirit of God descended upon me, completely enveloping my whole person, … dispelling forever, so long as reason and memory last, all possibility of doubt or fear in relation to the fact handed down to us historically that the ‘babe of Bethlehem’ is truly the Son of God.”

Joseph F. Smith: “Christ is indeed the Savior of my soul, the Savior of mankind. He has sacrificed his life for us that we might be saved, he has broken the bands of death, … he has declared himself to be the way of salvation, the light and the life of the world, and I believe it with all my heart.”

Heber J. Grant: “Not only did Jesus come as a universal gift, He came as an individual offering with a personal message to each one of us … And His blood will conditionally save us. Not as nations, communities or groups, but as individuals.”

George Albert Smith: “I have been buoyed up and, as it were, lifted out of myself and given power not my own to teach the glorious truths proclaimed by the Redeemer of the world. I have not seen Him face to face but have … felt His presence in a way not to be mistaken. I know that my Redeemer lives.”

David O. McKay: “Members of the Church of Christ are under obligation to make the sinless Son of Man their ideal. He is the one Perfect Being who ever walked the earth; the sublimest example of nobility; Godlike in nature; perfect in his love.”

Joseph Fielding Smith: “Who should we love above everything else in the world? … The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Love him more than we do our own lives, or our own fathers and mothers or children … because without his blessings we would have nothing.”

Harold B. Lee: “By the power of the Holy Ghost and in deep humility I solemnly bear testimony to the world that God lives and that His Son, Jesus Christ, was born in the flesh; that He was crucified and was raised from the dead with a body of flesh and bones, and sits today on the right hand of the Father as our judge and advocate.”


Spencer W. Kimball: “In quiet, restrained, divine dignity he stood when they cast their spittle in his face. He remained composed. They pushed him around. Not an angry word escaped his lips. They slapped his face and beat his body. Yet he stood resolute, unintimidated … He had said, ‘Love your enemies.’ Now he showed how much one can love his enemies. He was dying on the cross for those who had nailed him there.”

Ezra Taft Benson: “With all my soul, I love Him ... I humbly testify that He is the same loving, compassionate Lord today as when He walked the dusty roads of Palestine. He is close to His servants on this earth. He cares about and loves each of us today. Of that you can be assured.”

Howard W. Hunter: “I bear solemn and grateful witness that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior of the world. Certainly He is the center of our worship and the key to our happiness. Let us follow the Son of God in all ways and all walks of life. Let us make Him our exemplar and our guide … I pledge my life, my strength, and the full measure of my soul to serving him. May we have ears to hear and hearts to feel, and the courage to follow, I humbly pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

Gordon B. Hinckley: “He is my Savior and my Redeemer. Through giving His life in pain and unspeakable suffering, He has reached down to lift me and each of us and all the sons and daughters of God from the abyss of eternal darkness following death. He has provided something better—a sphere of light and understanding, growth and beauty where we may go forward on the road that leads to eternal life. My gratitude knows no bounds. My thanks to my Lord has no conclusion. He is my God and my King. From everlasting to everlasting, He will reign and rule as King of Kings and Lord of Lords. To His dominion there will be no end. To His glory there will be no night. None other can take His place. None other ever will. Unblemished and without fault of any kind, He is the Lamb of God, to whom I bow and through whom I approach my Father in Heaven.”

Thomas S. Monson: “With all my heart and the fervency of my soul, I lift up my voice in testimony as a special witness and declare that God does live. Jesus is His Son, the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh. He is our Redeemer; He is our Mediator with the Father. He it was who died on the cross to atone for our sins. He became the first fruits of the Resurrection. Because He died, all shall live again. ‘Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: “I know that my Redeemer lives!” ’ May the whole world know it and live by that knowledge."



On the Easter day may we remember this clarion call of Christendom. The reality of the Resurrection provides to one and all the peace that surpasses understanding. It comforts those whose loved ones have passed this life. It is a universal truth. Death has been conquered, victory over the grave has been won. All because He is Risen!

Photo by Simon Dewey
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