8.28.2010

The half marathon ...

I was going to include a photo of me in all my glory while running the beast.

But alas, none were taken.

Because I did not run it.

I was tempted to take a photo of myself cheering the runners on, because that was the only role I played at this year's Top of Utah Half Marathon.

Insert frowny face.

While cheering people on I began stereotyping the different kinds of runners there are out there. No matter where you go, you will see these stereotypes in every distance race out there ...

* Near-professional: These are the few who place in the top 10% or whatev. They might not actually be sponsored, but they totally know what they are doing and they are fast. It's like they even know how to properly grab the cups of Gatorade and water without spilling it on themselves. And trust me, they don't teach you that in college running.

* Trendy: These are the "runners" who wear or do whatever is the in thing for that season. Last year it was the skirt-shorts {abs not included}, this year it's the running shoes that look like feet {I actually typed that sentence into Google and smart Google knew what I was talking about}. While there is a new in thing every year ... I never seem to see the fast runners in any of that junk. Hmmm ... interesting, no?

* Try-to-be-trendy: These are the folks who are wearing last year's trend. They don't know that short-skirts are out and the real running community mocked them all along. ;)

* Over-dressed: 75 degrees. Running 13.1 miles. In pants. Long sleeve. And gloves. Ho-k. I mean, I guess you could somehow still be cold in those conditions. But I am just not sure how.

* Dolled-up: These are the girls who curled their hair, sprayed it, or whatever at 4:30 am before running 13.1 miles. And oddly enough, it all stays exactly where they put it ... and they still look super cute crossing the finish line.

* Matchy-matchy-green-sweaters: No, I didn't actually see any runners in green sweaters. But these are the peeps who intentionally come to the race wear matching clothes. It reminds me of family reunions as Disneyland where you all wear the same shirt. I guess it helps if you forgot who you were running with.

* The boyfriend/husband runner: First off, I clearly need one of these. This is the guy who is running with his cute girlfriend/wife and clearly going at her pace. He's practically taking a stroll through the park and being super supportive as she strenuously goes on. And no, this does not mean every girl has one of these and no, this does not mean all girls couldn't be their significant other. :)

* Those who shouldn't have ran: Absolutely no offense to these people. I was going to be one of these people until 9:00pm last night. Too motivated for your own good but then you are either bleeding from a lost limb or limping from a tendon that decided to detach. Given, of course these things could happen even if you weren't injured beforehand, but I saw an adorable girl walking with her shoes off, blood dripping from her legs and when I asked her if she was okay she said, "Yup. Just shouldn't have ran." Ohhh, that could have been me. :)

and one of my favorites ...

* The Kenyan: Too fast for the human eye to comprehend, the only time you see them is in the paper the next day for actually winning the race...at half the time it took you to run it. They've already moved on to training for the next one while you're still puking in a garbage can.

Can you think of any others? More importantly, which one are YOU? :)

The thing I think is best about running is that all of these people can sign up for a race and do it. Anyone can do it. You can be the world-record holder or someone who has to stop and walk - but you can still do it. I think it is the most welcoming sport out there. And if you haven't picked it up, maybe you should.

I would like to end this post with an optimistic comment like, "And now I am going to go run myself!"

But no ... No, Mr. Angry Achilles and I will not be running today. We will be ... eating food. And sitting on the couch. ;)

And since this was a crasy post just about running ... 100 gold stars if you read the entire thing. Word.

13 comments:

capturedbydaniem.blogspot.com said...

read it. loved it. i definitely fell into the husband category...poor ty just plugging along next to me! haha I was SOOOO slow and SOOOO happy to see you :)

Mike said...

I had to read the entire post to see which group I fit in. Definitely the "Shouldn't have run" group.

Niki & Chez said...

Ha ha ha! Love those trendy runners- always provide a good laugh. I love this- any "true" runner can relate and you summed it up perfectly :) Also the over-dressed. ha ha- really people?

Whitney said...

I don't know where I fit? I certanily am not trendy, kenyan, near professional, and I think josh has ran with me like twice in my life, none of which were races... so I think I must be try to be trendy/sub near professional... BUT let me tell you that I would NOT be caught dead in 5 finger shoes or a running skirt. Please create a new catigory that I can be in! ha ha, jk. hope you feel better soon

Adam R. said...

You're funny.

Tetris Queen said...

I was just a cheerleader myself this year, but not because of injury. It was because of laziness... and lack of the ability to register in time. whoops. :)

DeeAura said...

Hahha...Oh, shoot. I'm probably the one who shouldn't have run the race to begin with. :) Then again...a race that involves double digits isn't really in my realm of expertise ANYWAY.

Shan said...

Sweet, I get gold stars. I shouldn't be running the race but my husband would be the one running with me at a stroll while I am running strenuously.

Avree said...

LOVED this post! My favorite is when you see girls with long flowing hair running, they just couldn't stand to wear a ponytail and not show off their hair. Back in my running days I was the one with the boyfriend/fiance running with me. I trained for like a year to run a marathon and Matt trained for like 2 weeks and ran 20 miles with me. So unfair.

B and J said...

I would totally be in the should not be running group, however I would love to be in the got-up-did-my-hair-and-makeup-and-still-look-fabulous-after-I-cross-the-finish-line group.

Chelsea said...

I think I would definitely be in matching clothing with Brig. We tend to do this on occasion even when we aren't running a race. So yeah, that would totally be me...if I ever ran a half marathon.

Meg said...

I would be in the "Dead on the side of the road after a half-mile" group. That's one you forgot. :)The day I attempt to run a half marathon you should all be looking for the world to come to an end.

And I did read the whole post.

Kristin said...

I think I am the dolled-up one. OR at least I try. I love the overdressed one- so true!
Read the whole post!

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