9.25.2009

Some more thoughts ...

Serious ones. Again.

I hope this makes sense ... I always knew I loved my client who passed away [I love all of my clients, deeply. Profoundly]. I always knew how grateful I was to be a part of his life. Yet, I am still surprised at the ache that remains because of his absence. I never imagined I would miss him this much. I guess that is because it never crossed my mind he'd leave us [or that any of our clients would]. They are some of the most resilient people ... they may get knocked down, but they always get back up.

Because his funeral was on a weekday, not everyone at our company who wanted to attend could. Some of us had to stay at work for all the other clients. Although I wanted to be at the funeral more than anything, I stayed back to help.

Another client [from this post and this one] was a roommate to the client who passed away. His home staff and parents took him to the funeral. I wasn't aware of this before the day started. All I knew was as the clients arrived, both were gone. The absence of both clients was almost too much.

When the client finally returned [in his button-up shirt and sweat pants, which is what he wore to the funeral and he looked so handsome!] I heard his voice in the front office and literally ran to him! I needed my little buddy to make it through the day.

I was able to sit with him and talk with him for awhile. I asked him where he had gone and he said to "Church." He told me he was good and quiet while at church and that there were a lot of people and a lot of chairs there. He was so proud to have gone to church and to have behaved so well. We celebrated together and after a moment of silence he said, "Miss B."

"Me too," I said.

"Where's B?" he asked.

"In Heaven," I said, holding back the tears [which I was only successful at for a few more moments].

"Why's he in Heaven?" he asked.

"To be with Heavenly Father."

"B's happy?"

"Yes, he is. He is very happy."

I love that I was able to share that moment with him. I needed to share it with him. I knew that he knew how I felt. And to have that connection with him is something I will cherish for always.

And so it goes, B's favorite couch is still empty [no one has sat on it since]. But our hearts are full. We miss him. But we will go on. And we know that we will see him again. It was a difficult day. But it was a good day. A day where the veil was so thin and Heaven didn't seem all that far away ... We should find a way to make more days like that.

4 comments:

Meg said...

I'm so sorry. But I'm so grateful you shared with us your wonderful moment.

Krystal said...

Mindy, thanks for putting into words the tender mercies you have experienced this week... I just noticed B on your gold stars list... can we donate our stars to Bs memory? I think he deserves a special place at the top. I am so so sorry for your loss... I honestly can't imagine what it would be like if I lost of my students so suddenly... what a tragedy indeed.

Natalie Willmore said...

I think that we should all attend a funeral every year. I think you're right, the veil is thin and it brings into perspective what this life is all about and what is important.
Not too long ago I attended the funeral of a little girl I used to babysit, she was 10. She had a tumor that grew along her spine and was in a great deal of pain. My sister and I found this painting, I immediately started crying when I saw it. We had it signed by the artist and gave it to them. I think it sums up what it's like for those who have physical disabilities on earth when they meet their maker. It's called "Security".
Here's the link:
http://www.bowman-art.com/indexFineart.htm
It's the second picture down

Allison and Josh said...

Oh Mindy, I love you! That post was so sweet and I think you are so perfect for the job that you have because you have such a big heart!

p.s. I'm glad the Swiffers worked for you! Maybe our floors are just prone to getting dirty! But I do agree about the smell! I LOVE IT!

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