8.06.2009

I.am.going.to.Hell.

I cannot seem to walk away from a hotel without stowing one of these along with me:

And where did I hide it to sneak it away from the Marriott? In my scriptures. Going to Hell for stealing and for blasphemy.

And if you pay close attention, exactly 5.4 inches away is another pen from the hotel I stayed in while at the WAC Tournament in Reno, Nevada. I could be wrong, but so far there is no evidence I took one from the Grand Mayan in Cancun, Mexico.

My name is Mindy and, I.am.a.klepto. [Insert a large group of people saying, "Hi, Mindy!"]

In attempts to restitute my horrible, awful sins ... Tomorrow morning I will be mailing both pens back to their hotels of origin.

Ahem ...

Dear Marriott:

It is with deepest regret that I somehow managed to leave your hotel on July 27th with your pen in my bag ... Okay, to be more precise, in my scriptures. And in case you are not familiar with, also in those scriptures is a verse that reads, "Thou shalt not steal."

In attempts to correct my horrible misdoing and hopefully in the process avoid eternal damnation in Hell, I am returning this item. Please accept my most sincere apology. It will never happen again.

Sincerely,

Mindy M. Thornley

***

Do you think I will get a response? More importantly, do you think it will save me from going to Hell?

16 comments:

Krystal said...

hmmm.... my dad works for a big hotel in SLC... growing up, all of our pens and stationary came from said hotel... and as I moved into my new house this week and needed some bath mats for getting out of the shower... yup, those are from the hotel too! When they discard them my dad often gets them... so when you step out of the shower at my house you will think you're at a posh hotel :)

I don't think you're going to hell for taking hotel pens... are credit union pens any worse? Cuz I have some of those in my car!!

Allred Mom said...

The pens came with your hotel bill! We call them souvenirs! It's free advertisement for them! They should be paying you now that you are carrying it and using it! lol

P.S. I missed seeing you while in Utah...Next time hopefully! This was definately a quick trip..although all of them seem to be! And no problem about the phone call...I didn't get a hold of you either!

Adam R. said...

Yeah, you're allowed to take the pens. If I were the management at the hotel receiving your letter, I would send you back a better pen. But that's just me.

Katie said...

I agree, they should pay you for the advertisement! Also, that would be AWESOME if they sent you a nice pen or other merchandise for being honest. As for going to hell: Of all the people I know, you are the last person that would go to hell. You would have to TRY to do that Mindy. So keep stealing pens, see if it works. I doubt it!

Avree said...

I always steal the pens, lotion, shampoo, etc. It all comes with the room. If you are going to Hell, it's not because you stole a pen, it's because you've prank-called a lot of people.

Burke and Emily Adams said...

Don't believe all your other comments Minday...you ARE going to Hell. Have a nice day! :)

Chance said...

They are meant to be taken! It is part of the marketing strategy!

Ben Clarke said...

How in the world is taking a pen from the Marriott worse than any other hotel? If it's the LDS connection, please forget it. I'm a bit sickened by a hotel chain that puts a Book of Mormon in their rooms along with the fullest array of pay-per-view pornography in the hotel industry. And yes, I'm fine with calling them out on that. I hope they don't pay tithing with that money.

Mindy said...

For clarification: I do not think I am going to Hell because I stole a pen from a hotel with a LDS CEO. It has to do with STEALING anything at all from anyone. :)

Ben Clarke said...

Yes, I clearly misread your post--and perhaps read my own frustration with Marriott into your comments. My apologies.

The life of a college girl said...

Oh Mindy, you make me laugh! I guess I am going to hell too, I took two pens from hotels over the weekend, you will be in good company my dear!

daniela.walsh said...

MINDY! I'm so glad you found my blog, so that I could find your blog! Natalie DOES have a blog (unfortunately, it's a school blog so it's totally not cool). Ok bye!

Melvin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Seth & Mel said...

Mindy
You are supposed to take pens, but to make you feel less of a clepto: Seth took 12 bars of soap from the last hotel we stayed at! That's right 12! I looked down in the car on the way home and saw a bag, full of soap.

Meg said...

You are hilarious. I've always thought the pens were expected to be taken. Not that I usually take them, but it's kind-of like the shampoo, they're there for you to use and it's included in the room fee.

I would like to know if you get a response from your letter, though.

Marina said...

Hi Mindy,
My name is Marina, and I too am a pen thief. I recently realized that I have multiple pens in my purse and throughout my house. I never realized before, but unintentially walk away with pens. I too, have recently begun returning pens to their rightful owners, as well as donating additional pens to those in need. I hope that we don't go to hell, as these are really sins of * omission*

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