12.02.2008

*W*A*N*T*E*D*
Dead or Alive

For peanut M&M larceny

DANIEL JAMES ROBERTS
{He may look all super nice, friendly, and potentially cuddly ... that's exactly what he wants you to believe!)}

Aliases: Dan, Danny, James, Danny-boy, Ed, and Arturo Raul Gonzalez

DESCRIPTION

Date of Birth: May 21, 1983 Hair: He has some
Place of Birth: Utah, USA Eyes: Two of them
Weight: We don't know, we've never tried lifting him.
Height: Over five feet, under seven. Sex: Not until he is married.
Race: Caucasian or Hispanic, how can anyone really be that sure?
Occupation: Thief, obviously. Scars or marks: None known
Remarks: Roberts is believed to have had plastic surgery.

CAUTION

The peanut M&M larceny and trafficking led by Roberts is allegedly responsible for the pilfering of countless bags (of all sizes) in 14 different countries. Roberts was placed on the White House Foreign Larceny Kingpin Designation Act list by President George W. Bush in 2007.

REWARD

The FBI is currently not offering any monies in his capture. However, Mindy is willing to split all redeemed M&M packages with you 50-50.

SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED AND LEGGED {he has two of each}.

If you have any information regarding this person, please do not contact your local nor federal law enforcement. Also, the nearest American Embassy or Consulate cannot be bothered with it either.

5 comments:

Cassandra Anne said...

This is an incredible post, and I am outraged.

I'm going to write to my congressman today concerning the leniency of our candy embezzlement legislature!

Allred Mom said...

Oh, he is in BIG trouble! I think all peanut M&M persons should stand together and find him! I'll watch for him in Cali!

(In fact, I think he is a "numsor"...the word I had to spell!)

Krystal said...

all I can say is it's a good thing he doesn't know where my classroom is, cuz I was sure sneaking a few today (I think my students saw too!) Yum... I love me some peanut m&ms... (I don't love going to the gym after... the price I pay for my one true love!)

Kristin said...

Hey Mindy,

Thanks so much for the compliment. I do take those type of pictures! The only thing I haven't done yet are actual wedding day pictures. Children, Family, Engagements, Bridals...count me in! You are looking so good. I was reading your blog the other day and looking at you fun time in Hawaii. I saw on facebook your friends trick too... I wondered if you were mad about that ha ha. She is lucky if you forgave her because I probably would not have ha ha. Thanks for your comment again.

jill said...

lol I love it!!

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