9.22.2008

Dear President Monson ...

January 1, 2006

Dear President Monson,

Hello! How are you doing this fine day? I hope that is an appropriate way to start off a letter to a member of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I really wouldn’t know, since I’ve never written a letter such as this before!

So why am I writing this letter? On November 6, 2005 I had the opportunity, in my student ward at Utah State University, to attend my first stake conference via satellite. It was very exciting to be part of something that denotes the growth in the church, and to hear an Apostle of the Lord, President Packer, speak to us. But the day’s events didn’t end there. I am certain that you recall that that was also the day you spoke to us young, single adults in a CES fireside. It was quite the day for satellite broadcasts!

There were two things that stood out to me in what both you and President Packer spoke that day. And, those two things are what bring me to writing you this letter today. I remember as President Packer embarked with his words that he spoke of how there were approximately 50,000 single adults that were receiving his words that day through the broadcast. My immediate thought was, “Wow, 50,000 single adults in the area and I cannot even find one to marry!”

Now, I am certain you are wondering what this has to do with you. Well, with that thought in my mind, I attended the CES fireside (also via satellite). It was then that I heard of how you offered your “services” to several sister missionaries that had once served while you were mission president.

President Monson, I will get straight to the point. I am in dire need of your apostolic intervention in finding a husband! I have several pieces of evidence which will support my claim.

Exhibit A: In March 2002 eight of my close friends in high school got married. I clearly missed the memo! However, I didn’t fret. I just went and found more friends – younger friends, to make sure this didn’t happen to me again. Unfortunately, all those younger friends I made at that point have now also all gotten married. I guess this leaves me with no choice but to replace those younger friends with seven-year-olds, in attempt to make sure they all won’t be married off before me as well.

Exhibit B: My parents’ standards of whom I should marry are going down. At the beginning there was hardly a man that existed that my parents thought were good enough for me. Such is not the case now. An un-wed man came into my dad’s office the other day and gave him a free t-shirt. When my dad returned home from work he declared he had found the perfect man for me to marry – simply because the man had given him a free t-shirt!

Exhibit C: I currently student teach seminary. What this essentially means is I get to eat my lunch every single day with eight married men. It gets better when I attend my pre-service class, which with the teacher, includes me and SEVENTEEN married men. Imagine if you will for a mere moment what our pre-service Christmas party was like … 17 married men, the 17 wives of the 17 men, and their children, lots of children, and then me.

In the Institute building, the adorable pre-service secretary has created a bulletin board to put up photos of those who have been hired to student teach. All the photos thus far are of those men with those wives and with those children. Needlessly to say, I haven’t given the adorable secretary my photo yet. I can’t help but thinking how many times the song, “One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn’t the same,” would be sung when people saw my picture – which would noticeably be missing a husband!

As you can clearly see, I need your apostolic intervention! I understand that the photos of the men in your box are a) probably all married and b) probably all 50-years-old now, so that wouldn’t work for me. But, remember, President Packer said there were over 50,000 young single adults in the area which I live - so I am confident we can find someone!

I understand with great requests such as this that great sacrifices must be made. If you can help me out, I would be willing to be a nursery leader for the remainder of my days here on earth, the most unsought, most feared calling to ever exist within in the Church.

I appreciate the time you took to read this letter and hope to be hearing from you soon. My eternal salvation just might depend on it. Have a nice day, unless your day was already in a class much higher than merely "nice", in which case by all means stay at your currently exuberant day status.

Sincerely,


Mindy Thornley

15 comments:

Dani and Tyson said...

you are ridiculously funny! I really like you.

Scott, Andi and Jack said...

Good call. Gordo hooked Scotty and I up. :)

I Am Immense, I Contain Multitudes said...

hang in there sport

Krystal said...

hmm... I have often pondered writing a similar letter... I think the real depression will set in the day a student from my first set of first graders gets married before me. Oh goodness... all I can say is these guys are definitely missing out! Let me know if you ever get a response :o) !!

Matt and Erin said...

Mindy, you are too funny!! I'm glad I found your blog. You seem to be doing great! Good luck with that husband finding. I hope President Monson will be able to help you out! :) You brought a smile to my face tonight. Thanks! Hope all is well!!
~Erin Morgan Cook

Matt and Avree said...

Mindy, did you get a reply? You can't just leave us all hanging like this!

Whitney said...

this is only kindof of the subject, my sister saw President Monson at Dee's drive in, in SLC at 10:00 one saturday night. He was dressed in "old man farmer cloths" as she put it. She wasn't sure if it was him till the waiter told them, "that is the president of the LDS church" ha ha, what a great prophet!

Mike Lundberg said...

One star for the Colors concert please. :-)

Brady F. said...

So, I voted that you didn't actually send this letter, but if you ever do, will you add my name to the bottom as well?

McCall and Eric said...

Hey Mindy!
The ice caves are kind of a pain to find so hopefully these instructions are helpful...
Get on 2nd east(the road that Walmart is on) Keep going for a long time, you will go past some sand dunes and just keep going. About 10-15 minutes after the sand dunes there is a cattlegaurd. Right after the cattle gaurd turn right on to a little dirt road, the road is headed diagonally northest. You will be on this dirt road for what seems like forever (but's it probably around thirty minutes), don't give up! You proably will need a truck on this road because it is super bumpy. Eventually there is a huge hole in the ground, this is the cave, you enter by going around behind it and going down some rocks. Give me a call if you are having trouble, or if you get bored in Rexburg! My number is 435.760.8714.

Erika Johnsen said...

Love you!

Chixon said...

hey! I like nursery! I'd rather be there than where I am now--young single adult gospel doctrine. :P

Toni said...

haha! Remember when we (okay, you --I was always too chicken) used to throw open the door to our apartment just to see if your husband happened to be standing on the porh waiting for you --and you'd shout "Husband?" just in case :) I miss those days!

The solution I've found to all my friends getting married is to move to big cities where most of the people are older than me and STILL single, and I'm the baby of the group --even in church, they think I would be crazy to be married so young :) Just a suggestion :)

Mike Lundberg said...

One star for knowing you sent this letter, and I still have not received my Colors concert star.

Bailey Family said...

Mindy! You are such a doll! i am the worst at getting on the computer and posting anymore due to the little guy but I just read all of your posts and got caught up on your life. #1 you are the best writer. I will remember to call you next time I need to write a paper and I want it to sound awesome! #2 So cute about your letter to Pres. Monson, You dont even fret little lady.... You are too darling and great to need to worry. I will pray that it will come soon so that you wont have to face the embarrasement at the Institute any longer. Also, that is awesome that you are student teaching, you will be so amazing. i knew that is what you wanted to do and i am so happy you are chasing your dreams! Thanks for your example you are so great really!

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